Fall is here: FOOTBALL IS BACK!
But not just on the sidelines; we’re talking couch-side. Because like you, we know that fantasy football is truly America’s Game. A weekly epic battle of wits between you, your wife, co-workers, brother-in-law, people on the Internet and, it turns out, maybe the FBI. So before the season slides into Super Bowl L (that’s 50 in Latin), before the kickers grow any older, before our carefully selected offensive line takes any more hits to the knee – or calf, hip, neck, hamstring, or ACL – before Matthew Berry’s next shaky prediction or any more indictments roll in:
Let’s talk defensive strategy, fellow puppet-masters.
Playbook: you’re in position on the sofa with a hot wing in one hand, and your smartphone in the other. As the theme music roars to life, the only thing you can think about is your own burning, itching feet.
What, did you think you have to run a 40-yard dash under 5 seconds to attract tinea pedis?
(Don’t eyeball us. That’s the official name of the Athlete’s Foot fungus.)
The peeling is gross. The scaliness, also pretty gross. And the itch is so distracting it can cause a Monday Night magician to make rash predictions. (Rimshot). And nobody is immune. Wearing dirty socks or somebody else’s (it happens, we don’t judge), walking barefoot in the gym, locker room, or even a hotel room, using a contaminated towel, wearing tight shoes that don’t breathe; it’s easier to catch Athlete’s Foot than a Tom Brady pass.
In the brutal world of fantasy football, you’ve got to keep your feet in the game.
Here’s where we come in.
Blue Star Ointment is tougher on Athlete’s Foot than unexpected draft trends on your meticulous Excel spreadsheet. We’ve got cooling camphor for your insane itching, salicylic acid for your peeling, scaly skin, and moisturizers to protect your toes from further unnecessary roughness.
Apply Blue Star several times a day until the fungus has a bye week.
Then keep applying it.
After the gym, after a shower, before you put shoes on, and right now.
It works on jock itch, too, we hear… but let’s leave it at that.
You picked a QB with proven passer stats.
Pick an anti-itch ointment that’s scored since 1920.
Blue Star Ointment.
The (un-)Official “Athlete’s” Foot Remedy of (Fantasy) Football.
#AthletesFoot #AthletesFootTreatment #BlueStarOintment